Happy Father’s Day from China

Lobsang with his wife and son, Tenzin, 7
Lobsang with his wife and son, Tenzin, 7

Family is important to everyone in the world. Family is not just the blood you share; it’s also the people you care about. I’m lucky to have a happy family – my wife and son are the most important things in my life.

Both my wife an myself are social workers of International NGOs in initiating and supporting programmes that seek to improve the living standard and well-being of poor rural Tibetans. We ethnic Tibetans living in Lhasa, the capital city of Tibet Autonomous Region, China. My son, Tenzin Migjur, is a cute and healthy 7 year-old boy, who has just started his elementary school in the city where we live.

Probably similar to other fathers around the world, my transition from a husband to a father was not easy. The news of my wife’s pregnancy brought me mixed feelings. In addition to the extreme joy and excitement I felt, I was struck by the responsibility and commitment that were required to raise a child. I realized that I needed to be extremely supportive and caring during my wife’s pregnancy, labor and delivery to make the whole process smooth and healthy.

I was heavily involved in that nine months, and also the postpartum recuperation period. I believed that the best way was not only to assist my wife through the traumas of all of these, but also to feel a sense of participation for myself. I tried my best to make sure her diet was healthy and she got plenty of rest to keep her comfortable. I took on most of the household duties, including cooking, cleaning, and other housework. These were all pretty daunting tasks to me.

When accompanying my wife during her pregnancy, I tried to be a considerate partner offering my wife pillows for rest, giving her massage, and taking her out for sunshine. I also took her for antenatal screening, talked with doctors and tried to to get as much information as possible about safe motherhood and childbirth.

The most pleasant moment that I always recall in detail was the moment I felt the baby move for the very first time. Before he was born, I to talk to my son a lot to build up a connection with him. In the months leading up to the anticipated date of delivery, I busied myself getting everything ready for the big day. I was not invited to the delivery room. The only thing I could do was pacing nervously in the waiting room and wait for my son’s first cry.

My experience of fatherhood has been full of fun. I understood what a crucial stage the child development from birth to five years is, so I payed special attention in my son’s nutrition and healthy development as he grew, happily assisting with feeding, bathing,and changing nappies

I try to spend as much time as possible with my son, taking him out or playing with him. Children normally learn things by imitating, so I always try to set a healthy example and be a good role model for him. A father’s job is never done. Being a good dad isn’t enough. In order to make a long-lasting impact on our children’s lives, we need to be meaningful fathers.

By “meaningful” I mean spending time with our children, providing emotional support, giving everyday assistance, monitoring children’s behavior, and providing consistent, fair and proper discipline. Your kids depend on you to provide meaning to their lives throughout your life.

I wish EVERY ONE a fun and happy father’s day.

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Comments

  • Shirley

    Dear Lobsang,

    Very touching , the article you wrote. Wish you all much and more happinness

    Shirley

  • suoyang

    Totally agree with Lobsang’s philosophy of being a “meaningful ” father to children. there is one thing in the world whjch can not be replaced by any thing else in one’s lives to inspire the great things, cure unhappy experirences and bring the world into a better place to live —-That is LOVE !!!

  • Thank you for writing this. We hear a lot about fathers when we learn about child mortality, but often we hear that they are the ones who restrict the mother from getting healthcare, or do not support six months exclusive breatfeeding. Fathers have a huge role to play in ensuring the child’s right to survive and grow as well as the mother’s right to survival. It is great to celebrate someone who takes his role so seriously.

  • There are some who are loving husbands, and some who are caring fathers.. but it is very rare to be both. A great father and a responsible husband..Lobsang!

  • Excellent information:) must ve helped out tones of young men, who re ready to join in the daddy’s job! I can not think of any need in childhood as vital as a father’s loving care & protection.

  • Zhong Ling

    read again, still feel toughed by lobsang’s vivid feeling during his most precious experience as accompanying in such duration.
    To be a father seems simple but infact, only who have real experience know how concrete and holy responsibility it should be,
    Lobsang, cheers for your effort, and all the best wishes for your lovely son and your family.
    happy Father’s day~

  • Zhong Ling

    correct by one mistake word: touched, not toughed~
    🙂

  • sertsogyi

    Jo Lobsang,

    If i was a man, you were the role model to be both an excellent father and husband 4 me:))

    Happy father’s day!!

    sertsogyi

  • sertsogyi

    Pls take Tenzin to the office someday. We’d love to see your cute cute little boy !