A stone’s throw from my home in South Wales – over the mountain at the end of the rainbow’s arch – lives a pot of gold. Deb Barry works as a Senior Humanitarian and Leadership Advisor and lives in Caerphilly. At the drop of a hat she packs her bags to respond to emergencies world-wide to help families and children affected by hurricanes, cyclones and in war-torn situations.
In my role as Senior Media Manager for Save the Children in Wales I have got to know Deb well over the years as she often takes part in media interviews to talk about her work. Recently she stepped in to help with the emergency response for families affected by the flooding in communities in South Wales. She is also providing advice to parents about how to help children understand Coronavirus.
When I recently interviewed her on how parents could talk to their children about the recent floods and on her work on Covid19, little did I know that I would need to act on her advice myself, as a mother of two young children.
For my seven-year-old son and my four-year-old daughter normal life is anything but normal at the moment. As we now enter the second week of living under lockdown and self-isolation, the novelty is weaning and the questions are piling.
It is evident that they are watching our every move, our every expression and listening to our very word. And we are often put on the spot. What does the virus look like? What colour is it? Will I become ill? Will you and dad become ill? Why can’t we see our friends? When will we see our grandparents next? Why has my best friend’s birthday party been cancelled? Will I still have my party in the summer? When will my dance and swimming classes re-start? When will I be able to go back to school?
And you find yourself torn between how much to tell them and what is their level of comprehension for their ages. Sometimes saying too much is as damaging as saying too little.
These are unprecedented times. Parents are trying to look out for their children’s physical and emotional wellbeing, whilst trying to keep an eye on what is happening in the world and trying not to show their own emotions. School closures also mean that parents are finding themselves balancing caring for their children with working from home and trying their best to home-school. My situation is no different to millions of other parents across the UK and I’m very grateful to Save the Children as my employer for the offer of flexible working and the support that the organisation is offering parents.
But it is exhausting and tough as the findings from new research released by Save the Children this week reveal on how parents and children in the UK are coping during the Coronavirus lockdown.
More than half of parents (56%) are worried about their child’s mental health at a time when schools are closed and contact with friends and family is restricted as a result of social distancing. An overwhelming 85% of the children surveyed said they were upset about not seeing friends and relatives for the foreseeable future due to the unfolding Coronavirus outbreak. Children aged six to 18 also said they were most concerned about a family member becoming sick (58%), with their other main worries including food running out, keeping up with school work and what their future will look like now the schools have been shut indefinitely.
A quarter of parents are juggling working from home, while 17% have reduced their working hours to take care of their children. A further 12% of parents have been forced to take unpaid leave to look after their children, while 1 in 10 have had to leave their jobs completely. When asked about their biggest practical concerns with looking after their families, parents said ensuring they have food supplies (48%), helping children with schoolwork (44%) and money (38%). Other issues included job security (20%) and explaining the situation to their child (19%).
But there are positives.
Drawing on Deb’s advice and on our instinct as parents, myself and my husband are constantly providing our children with comfort and reassurance, trying to monitor what they are seeing in the media and looking out for signs of stress and changes in behaviour.
According to Deb another important step is to try to stick to your child’s usual routine. I remember her stories of how she advised parents from Syrian refugee families reaching camps by boat or by train to try changing their children into their pyjamas at the usual time and help them do normal things such as brushing their teeth and settling them down for a bedtime story. This helps children realise that there is a tomorrow and with every tomorrow there comes new hope.
Inspired by the idea instigated by children in Italy we have also been drawing rainbows to display in our windows and on our drop-off box outside our door where kind-hearted neighbours, friends and families have been leaving supplies during our isolation period.
The rainbow has become a global symbol of hope which is brightening up communities as dark clouds loom.
We are spending quality time as a family, learning from each other, establishing home-schooling hours and making crafts and memories. The other day we made daisy chains in the garden. We play board games. We talk and laugh. And we make plans. We’re going to paint the garden fence together and we are also putting post-its in our penguin pot with ideas of the nice things we are going to do once the virus has vanished. To date these include seeing friends and grandparents, having a party, visiting the hairdressers and my husband is looking forward to watching football again, in particular Cardiff City FC!
Deb also told me stories of how she provided children affected by Cyclone Idai in Malawi with cameras to capture their lives after the cyclone to remind them of who had helped them during this time so they could look back at that time with positive memories.
I’ve been doing the same and giving my children my mobile phone to take pictures of life through their lens. The pictures include the stones that they painted in the garden the other day, the dinosaur shadows they created in the afternoon sun and the family of caterpillars we all made from old socks. And, the smiles, so that we can look back at this time, at the other end of the rainbow, with positivity.
For further information and to donate to Save the Children’s Coronavirus Appeal please visit: www.savethechildren.org.ukhttps://www.savethechildren.org.uk/how-you-can-help/emergencies/donate-coronavirus-crisis
To access The Den visit: https://www.savethechildren.org.uk/the-den
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